The Lilly Pond

Never Alone

Recently I had a letter from a mother who had little or no relationship with her daughter. In the last paragraph she mentioned that she was surprised at how common a problem this was and she appreciated the fact that I was bringing it to light. She thought she was the only one.

Whenever I have participated in group therapy or facilitated a therapy group, one of the most wonderful moments is when people realize that they are not alone in their grief, their addiction, their problem, their abuse.

Compared to other challenges we face, mother-daughter relationships might not seem that critical or urgent. But this of all relationships means so much to us that it leaves us vulnerable to attack.

How devastating it is for us to feel alone. The “divide and conquer” tactic is one of Satan's favorite tricks. It goes like this:

YOU are the only woman who is not getting along with her daughter. There is something wrong with YOU. If you were really "getting it right" your relationship with your daughter would be as good as all those other wonderful Christian women. You should be ashamed. Everyone else is okay. You are a failure. Give up. There is no hope. You are ALONE.

And we fall for it nearly every time. I know I do. I have to confess that the week we launched this web site, Satan launched his own frontal attack on my family, specifically against my teenage daughter. I was overwhelmed and confused. What was I doing wrong? How could this be happening? For some reason, a verse in the Bible kept going over and over in my mind, "Satan is sifting us like wheat." (Luke 22:31).

My husband suggested we pray together. Our family gathered in the living room and he asked God to protect us from Satan's attack. At that moment, I realized that we both knew what was happening. We pulled out all the stops. Satan was not going to have my daughter.

When things finally settled down, I asked my husband why he thought Satan was after our child. My husband looked me full in the face and said, "He's not after her. He's after you."

I was stunned. “Why?” I wanted to know. “I'm not even doing anything.”

He responded, "No, but you’re about to and whatever it is must be good and it is what God wants, because Satan is scared and he is fighting you in your most vulnerable spot: your child."

The next day, I was talking to my daughter and we were discussing what had happened. I wanted her thoughts on this. I told her what her dad had said to me the night before and she said she agreed with him. I asked her why she thought Satan was fighting us so hard. And she responded with something I will never forget. She said, “Because you are trying to help other people and you are doing it in God's name.”

Throughout that week, my family cried and prayed and sang and read Bible verses. I knew that "…greater is he that is in me than, he that is in the world." (I John 4:4) And I was not going to loose this battle because God had already won it. On my way to work I would pray for my daughter and sing songs about the Blood of Jesus. Satan began to ease up. Or so I thought.

As I've mentioned before, my brother is the technical person behind my web site. We talk nearly every day on the phone. One day we took the time to compare notes in our personal lives. Now it was his turn. Full frontal attack. But we were not alone. We were both fighting the same battles. Again, it was the “divide and conquer” tactic. And we both had God on our side. And it helped to talk and be able to realize what was happening to us.

Whatever you are going through, the deceiver wants to convince you that you are so horrible, that no one else has gone through this, that you are going through it by yourself and it will be absolutely useless to try to get help. Whatever the destroyer can use to get a foot in the door, he will. He will always attack where you are the weakest. And he will try to steal our joy and God's glory.

So I say, No! it won’t work. We are all in this together. And most importantly of all – Almighty God has bound Himself with His Word. He cannot abandon us.

Hebrews 13:5 I will never leave you, nor forsake you.

The chorus to an old hymn says:

I've seen the lightning flashing,
and heard the thunder roll,
I've felt sins breakers dashing,
trying to conquer my soul;
I've heard the voice of Jesus,
telling me still to fight on,
He promised never to leave me,
Never to leave me alone.

No, never alone, no never alone,
He promised never to leave me
Never to leave me alone.

 No never alone, no never alone
He promised never to leave me
Never to leave me alone.

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