|
Greetings and thanks for subscribing to TheLillyPond.com ezine! I'm Lillian Hinds and this ezine is dedicated to all mothers, daughters and the other important women in their families. Because we respect your privacy and value your subscription, we don't share your email address with anyone. If you'd like to be removed from our mailing list, please see instructions at the end of this ezine.
=================================
Volume 2 Issue 7: In the Pond This Week
=================================
1. Note to My Readers: Pond Talk
2. Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child
Part 5: The Face of God
3. The Commercial
4. Share The Lilly Pond
5. Contact Me
=================================
1. Note to My Readers: Pond Talk
=================================
Dear Ponder:
We enjoyed a good week here at The Lilly Pond. I'm encouraged by all that God is doing in our lives.
First let me again call your attention to Pond Talk on the web site www.TheLillyPond.com A woman named Chris has written a note telling us that she lost her mother when she was 19 years old. Now her own daughter is 19 and she is struggling in that relationship.
There is another note from January 30 called, "teens that feel left out" that I seemed to have overlooked. This is an appeal from a Sunday School teacher working with teenage girls. Among our nearly 2,000 subscribers, I am almost sure we have some Sunday School teachers out there and some of you have worked with teenagers! So please check in at Pond Talk and share your thoughts with her.
As I read your responses to each other, I am pleased to note your continued kindness and mercy along with your wisdom and insight. Sometimes we have to say a difficult thing, but we can do this in a godly way and you all are managing to do that. So thanks and keep up the good work!
Soon we'll be posting a speaking schedule for this spring on the website. The Lord has begun to bless me with calls to speak at various ladies' functions around the state. This is an answer to prayer and I praise the Lord for these blessings!
Our article this week covers a difficult topic - forgiveness - and one that I didn't particularly want to write. As always, I want you to understand that I don't ever intend to judge another person, or to dictate where that person should be in their spiritual walk. Let the Lord guide you in the direction He wants you to go in this matter and He is perfectly capable of doing so. Many of you have written that you are praying for me as I write some things that are "hard sayings" and I appreciate your prayers more and more.
We welcome all our new subscribers this week. Hello to you all and welcome to The Lilly Pond. We are looking forward to hearing from you and hope that you will find something you need here.
With all my heart,
Lillian
=================================
2. Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child
Part 5: The Face of God
=================================
The boys were fraternal twins. They had struggled against each other for all their lives. Oh, yeah, "boys will be boys" and all that. But this was much more serious.
The younger brother was devious, cunning, sly. He was known as a trickster and would literally do anything to get his way. He eventually managed to steal everything his brother had. Everything.
When the older boy discovered what his little brother had done, he cried bitterly. Then he declared his burning hatred for his twin and vowed that as soon as their father was dead, he would kill his brother. The younger boy heard about this and ran away.
Not a pretty family portrait, is it?
IT ONLY COUNTS IF YOU CARE
Probably the most difficult hatred to overcome is the hatred of someone close to you. If a stranger hurts you, it is often no surprise. What did you expect? That person means nothing to you.
If an acquaintance hurts you, still - not too bad. You can usually dismiss that person out of your life and go on. You just ignore them in the break room at work or drop them out of your carpool.
But what if the person who hurt you was a dear friend? A relative? And what if that person was someone that you thought you knew better than anyone? Someone you had spent time with, shopped with, gone on trips with? What if you had poured out your heart to her and confided the secrets of your heart to her? What if you felt like she was someone you could always count on?
But even worse - what if the person who hurt you so bad was your own mother?
The Bible songwriter, David, sums it up for us:
Psalm 41:9
Even my own familiar friend,
in whom I trusted,
who ate of my bread,
has lifted up his heel against me.
And in the verse we used in Part I of this series, the prophet acknowledged that, yes, even a mother could forget her child:
Isaiah 49:15
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
WHERE WE'VE BEEN
In this series of articles on "bad mothers" we have acknowledged that bad mothers exist, far more often than we like to think, and we saw why this is a particularly difficult problem to overcome. To start down a road of healing, we saw the need to take responsibility for our actions now but not for the events we had no control over. And we showed that God really has a better reality, a new truth, for us.
In today's article, we are going to talk about what to me is THE most difficult subject we can discuss when it comes to relationships:
FORGIVENESS
I have to stop and confess to you. I have struggled with the idea of writing this article. This topic makes me so uncomfortable. The idea of forgiving someone who has hurt us so deeply is completely foreign to our human nature. Revenge, getting even, pay backs-that's what we like. Forgiving is hard. Harder than hard.
And there's a real danger that you might dismiss this article, saying "She doesn't know what my mother did to me!" And you would be right. I don't know. And I haven't experienced everything that can happen to a person in this world.
But I have had to take steps to forgive someone that I felt like had done irreparable damage to my life. Damage that I felt I would never recover from. And if you get nothing else out of this or any other article, please get this. You can only do this with God's love and help.
You will not have it in your own heart to offer mercy and forgiveness to someone that has caused so much bitterness and hatred in your own heart. We have to lean on God's grace and count on Him.
Because this has to be done. It doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen without all the help you can get. But ultimately, it has to happen.
WHY WE MUST FORGIVE
The idea that we should forgive those who hurt us is not a subtle suggestion from God. We are not asked to forgive, we are commanded to forgive. Here's Jesus' command in Luke:
Luke 17:3,4
If your brother sins, solemnly tell him so and reprove
him, and if he repents, forgive him. And even if he
sins against you seven times in a day, and turns to
you seven times and says, I repent, you must forgive
him (give up resentment and consider the offense as
recalled and annulled).
Jesus commanded "forgive him." No qualifiers. No exceptions. Simply "forgive him."
If we want God's healing and hope, we have to obey his commands. When a doctor is preparing to sew up a wound, the first thing he does is clean it out.
I feel it is the same with our wounded emotions. God wants so badly to heal us and help us. But it will be difficult for Him to fill our heart will his peace and joy when it is bursting with bitterness and hate. Here's what James had to say:
James 3:9-11
With it (the tongue) we bless the Lord and Father,
and with it we curse men who were made in God's
likeness! Out of the same mouth come forth blessing
and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to
be so. Does a fountain send forth (simultaneously)
from the same opening fresh water and bitter?
We cannot hate someone in our heart and bless God with our mouth. It just won't work. If you have a gallon jug of milk and someone puts just a tablespoon of bleach in that milk, are you going to drink it? Of course not. Why? Because the whole jug has been contaminated. The same works with our heart. Bitterness and hatred against another person is like a poison in our system. It contaminates our whole heart.
But is this even possible? Can God really expect you to forgive someone that hurt you, molested you, cheated on you, lied to you, stole years of your life, tried to destroy your family? Yes, He really does and He's there to help you.
If you are ready to begin forgiveness in your life, just where do you start? Everything always starts with God because he set the example.
GOD'S FORGIVENESS FOR YOU
The first thing to do is be sure that you have accepted God's forgiveness for yourself. God's forgiveness is a constant theme in every book of the Bible. From the beginning, God has sought us, loved us and forgiven us.
Jesus painted a picture of God's disposition toward forgiveness. It is the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The son had wasted his inheritance and had doubtlessly caused his father great pain. From Luke:
Luke 15:20-24
So he (the son) got up and went to his father.
But while he was still a long way off, his father saw
him and was filled with compassion for him; HE RAN TO
HIS SON, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
The son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against
heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be
called your son."
But the father said to his servants, "Quick! Bring the
best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger
and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and
kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son
of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is
found." (My emphasis.)
If you ever find yourself questioning whether God really wants to forgive you or not, just conjure up the image of the father seeing his son from such a long way off and RUNNING out to meet him.
Regardless of what we've done, He continues to search for us and offer forgiveness. God never runs out of grace and forgiveness:
I John 1:9
If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.
This is not like we're looking at the tax code here where some sins in categories A through F along with those from line 22 Form 1 are covered but others are not covered this year unless they change the law again. No, the word was "all." "ALL unrighteousness."
We said in Part 3 that you must turn loose the things that you could not control and that you are not responsible for. And you must take responsibility for the things that you CAN control now. And asking God's forgiveness is one thing you can do to demonstrate that responsibility. And the good news is that you can immediately get God's forgiveness for anything ("all") you've mishandled now.
The Scriptures are filled with superlatives when it comes to God's willingness to forgive. Lets look at a few verses:
Romans 8:1
There is therefore now NO condemnation
to those who are in Christ Jesus.
(My emphasis.)
Psalm 103:12
As far as the east is from the west,
so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Quite simply, you have to experience God's forgiveness in order to understand how to exercise forgiveness toward yourself and others.
FORGIVING YOURSELF
The next step is to forgive yourself. Often after we have accepted God's forgiveness, we continue to berate ourselves and beat ourselves up for past sins. That makes a mockery of Christ's sacrifice and pretty much tells Him that what He did on the cross was not enough - we need to add a little something of our own to help out.
So we add our own guilt. It doesn't work and God won't allow it. My heart soared when I realized over and over again that God has forgiven me and He is done with my sins. There is simply nothing else here to discuss.
Romans 4:7
Blessed and happy and to be envied are those whose
iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered
up and completely buried.
If God can't remember our sins, perhaps it will be all right for us to forget them too.
Hebrews 8:12
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness,
and their sins and their iniquities will
I remember no more.
Jeremiah 31:34
Saith the Lord for I will forgive their iniquity,
and I will remember their sin no more.
The hymn writer puts it this way:
My sin - oh the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
FORGIVING OTHERS
God has given us His forgiveness as an example of how we should give our forgiveness.
Colossians 3:13
Be gentle and forbearing with one another and,
if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint)
against another, readily pardoning each other;
even as the Lord has freely forgiven you,
so must you also forgive.
Again, this isn't a suggestion. "...so must you also forgive."
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving one another readily and freely
as God in Christ forgave you.
Again, this is a picture of how God forgives us: readily and freely. Not begrudgingly. And that's how we should forgive others: readily and freely.
And probably one of the most famous passages on forgiveness from the Lord's Prayer:
Luke 11:4
Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
WHAT ABOUT JUSTICE?
So what do we do with that need for justice; the desire to see someone suffer as a result of the hurt they have caused us?
You must turn it loose and acknowledge that God will take care of it. Just as it is God's place to grant forgiveness, it is also His place to punish the unrepentant. It's a sobering thought:
Deuteronomy 32:35
Vengeance is Mine, and recompense, in the time when
their foot shall slide; for the day of their disaster
is at hand and their doom comes speedily.
Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, I will repay evil; wait expectantly for the
Lord and He will rescue you.
Romans 12:17-19
Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what
is honest and proper and noble (aiming to be above
reproach) in the sight of everyone. If possible, as far
as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way
open for God's wrath; for it is written,
Vengeance is Mine, I will repay says the Lord.
BUT IT'S NOT THAT EASY
That's right. I said before that this would be hard, that it was hard for me to write this. But it still has to be done.
Because the alternative is unacceptable. To continue on, carrying the hatred and resentment around will not avenge the wrong and bring justice. It will only eat at you from the inside until you are consumed by your own obsession.
We must have God's forgiveness so we can begin to learn how to forgive ourselves and others. And we must have God's help to work through all the issues as we must and then to let them go.
Go to God now. Tell Him that you are ready to receive His forgiveness and to offer forgiveness to someone else. Confess to Him that you already know you can't do this on your own and that you will need His Holy Spirit to help and guide you.
And then you can take what is clearly the most difficult and the most important step:
Begin to pray for the person who has wronged you.
That's right. And it's hard. You may have to do this more than once. With God's grace you can do this.
And you will eventually realize that you no longer hold hatred in your heart for that person and that you have turned them over to Almighty God.
BACK TO THE TWINS
Our two brothers at the beginning of the article are Esau and Jacob, the twin sons of Isaac. After Jacob sneaked around and stole Esau's entire inheritance, and stole his blessing and all that their father was supposed to give Esau, Jacob ran away in fear. Esau threatened to kill Jacob and he hated him with all his heart.
When they finally met up again years later, Jacob was still afraid. So he tried to give Esau gifts, and when they came face to face, Jacob fell on the ground bowing over and over to come to where his brother stood.
But here is where the story grows precious. The Bible tells us that Esau ran to meet Jacob, embraced him and fell on his neck, kissed him and they wept.
Somewhere during his lifetime, Esau had forgiven his conniving little brother. He no longer hated him or wanted to kill him. He was glad to see him, loved him and wanted to be with him.
How could Esau possibly feel that way about someone who had taken absolutely everything from him? Jacob had the answer:
Genesis 33:10 - But Jacob replied, No, I beg of you,
if now I have found favor in your sight, receive my
gift that I am presenting; for truly to see your face
is to me as if I had seen THE FACE OF GOD, and you have
received me favorably. (My emphasis.)
When Jacob looked at his brother, Esau, and saw forgiveness, he said he had seen the face of God.
This could not have been easy for Esau but it was possible. Search your heart. Let God soften your hatred with his forgiveness. Then offer that forgiveness to others. And when someone looks at your face, they will have seen the face of God.
With all my heart,
Lillian
=================================
3. The Commercial
=================================
I know to some that the title of my book "Always Wear Clean Underwear" is a little whimsical. And we have some fun with it, just as we put some humor in this ezine and the website. But the lessons in the book also have a serious side. Many people have told me that they don't read very much but they had set down and read this book in one sitting.
If you haven't had a chance to get "Always Wear Clean Underwear" and read it, I hope you take the time. I think it is blessing people from around the world. And certainly that was our prayer.
Speaking of "around the world" several of our new subscribers in Africa have said that they only have email and don't have access to the Internet, so they can't go to the shopping page to buy the book. For those people, please mail an international money order for $22.00US for one book to: The Lilly Pond, PO Box 22, Mesa CO 81643 and Bob will ship your book right out.
And don't forget that it is also available on the website www.thelillypond.com
With all my heart,
Lillian
=================================
4. Share The Lilly Pond
=================================
If you know someone who would enjoy having The Lilly Pond ezine, please feel free to forward this issue to them. If you received this ezine from a friend and you'd like to subscribe, you can go to www.TheLillyPond.com and subscribe for free or just click here to send an email to us with "SUBSCRIBE" in the Subject line. Thanks.
=================================
5. Contact Me
=================================
Your comments are welcome. Click here to email me.
Thanks for reading!
With all my heart,
Lillian
=================================
|
